Yup, still veil searching and almost desperate enough to make my own. Okay, I’m kidding because I really don’t feel like it. But I am in love with this Sara Gabriel Drew veil . It most likely can’t work with my dress and it looks very expensive? Y’all should check her out though. Do you have your veil already? Am I the only one having a hard time narrowing it down?
A few weeks ago, a wedding blog that I enjoy (look on the side for the (Formerly) Unemployed Bride) had a flurry of commentary on the very controversial topic of kids at weddings just as I was trying to make that decision for myself. My comments from that blog and another blog inspired by that discussion are as follows:
“im so going through this right now. if i let all of the children of invited guests come i will have 39 kids, 13 teens, and 6 babies at my wedding. i thought of hiring someone i know who is a child care professional and maybe a colleague or two of hers to watch the kids in a separate yet adjoined area with some activities. the thought of even planning that out is way too much for me right now though. anyway, what *YOU* want is what goes…period.”
“i definitely understand that black children need to see more weddings in our community but planning a wedding is no picnic and trying to find things to entertain another group of people may just not be the bride and groom’s cup of tea. i love children and all of the children in my life are very important to me as is family and community but the thought of planning baby sitters and activities for 39 kids, 13 teens, and 6 babies is more than i can bear at the moment. i keep waffling but right now…unless they are in the wedding…you’re gonna have to stay home- and there are abt 8 kids in the wedding ((yes im crazy)).”
“i also think that most times weddings are not fair to kids. they cant touch anything, they have to sit still and be quiet, they cant play…there are really just too many cants going on. so unless i can provide some entertainment for them, i’m doing us all a favor and having them stay home and play the video games they’d rather play in the first place.”
I understand both sides of the argument and I never thought I’d have to make this decision but I’m not gonna be able to do it! I contemplated having a special area for kid activities with official Fun Specialists on hand with a kid-friendly menu but when I started breaking it down my pockets and my mind got tired and I just had to scrap it. I love kids, I’m the fun and crazy auntie/godmommy/cousin who plans kid road trips and vacations every summer, I baby/kid sit often, hell- my wedding is going to have like eight kids in it! All that extra stuff though, no. I can’t. I still love you, pumpkin pookies though.
Now that I’ve made the decision, the fun part comes. I have to let everyone else know. I just did my invites and reaaaaaaaaaaaally could not figure out the best way to do this. I know I can’t put it on the actual invite, so we now have a wedding website to convey that message along with hotel info, directions, etc so it doesn’t look lonely….lol. I’ve learned that a friend recently received an invite with NO KIDS on it and I wish, but I’m not that bold but I am firm in my decision. And today, as I look at my to do list…I’ll say I’m happy with that decision. I think…ugh.
Maybe it’s just me but wedding planning isn’t always that fun. Sometimes you have to just schedule in relaxation lest you drive you and your betrothed crazy. We’ve spent the last two weekends just *NOT* thinking about weddings for the most part and just enjoying ourselves and getting back to US. I didn’t realize how crazy this could get and how Wedding-Minded we could become. It’s all everyone asks us about and started to become all that we talked about but no, man…we can’t go out like this. When I went to drive twenty minutes to two other post offices because they had UGLY stamps that I didn’t want to grace my Save The Dates, I knew that I needed a time out. I refuse to go Wedding Crazy!
I haven’t posted in a second and that’s because I’ve been marinating on something that I really don’t want to share or give too much energy to but it’s kind of bothering me. This is supposed to be my free space but you never know who’s reading and how the written word will be interpreted. But whatever, these are my thoughts and this is my blog and I’m grown.
Where I’m going with this is that I am very much shocked at some of the reactions that I’m getting from people who I expected the exact opposite reaction. It’s amazing, really. There are people who I totally did not expect to be happy for me who are like…really happy for me and really invovled and invested in sharing all of this joy. Then…there are people who I really thought would be amped who are very…very…not and unfortunately at every opportunity very vocal about it.
It’s just really blowing me. I don’t want to give alot of details and I hate even writing this post but I had to get this out. This is a very delicate situation…hell, I might even have to make this post private. I just want us all to be happy. Ugh.
On a more positive note, the love that I have been receiving from nearly everyone else has been a true blessing, very pure, and I’m holding it all close to my heart. I’m just a big ball of thankfulness, love, and appreciation. I extend this to all of you who read here as well, seriously. This is beautiful and I thank you for sharing in this journey with me.
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