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War of the Roses

2 Sep

Over three decades ago, two different couples started a family and welcomed into their families two little bundles of joy.  Everything aligned and God saw fit that over three decades later that these two bundles of joy would come together, fall in love, and start their own family.  Unfortunately, everything UNaligned for the the bundles of joys’ respective parents and now well…. I’m not sure they can even be “cordial, at best” to one another let alone the new wives that have joined the family.  I know we all saw War of the Roses, right?  I’m getting married in a garden but I for damned sure don’t want OUR roses to get to swinging on chandeliers and shutting the whole party down. 

Being the child of divorce is difficult enough.  Being a child of divorce planning a wedding is on a whoooooooooooole ‘nother level.  There is a delicate balance in managing relationships with your divorced parents especially if the divorce wasn’t exactly amicable.  Tresvant and my’s parents are definitely way far away from amicable.  I’ve been thinking that with so many people there our parents wouldn’t even have to acknowledge each other but really…even with my rose-colored glasses on…I am worried.  Loving both of your parents and wanting not to hurt or offend either of them really comes to a head on holidays, graduations, celebrations, and most especially weddings.  Is there anyone out there who feels me?  I just got off the phone with both of my parents and I feel horrible right now.  I should just change the name of this depressing ass blog to I Hate Wedding Planning.   WTF.


The Best Place On Earth

31 Aug

First, thanks to all who offered kind words in the midst of my breakdown.  I appreciate and used the advice given.  The first phone call was really hard to do but after that it got alot easier.  That is good because the extra guests keep rolling right on in.  *insert confused face*  Anyway, let’s focus on the positive…ETSY IS THE BOMB!

If you don’t know about Etsy you should really click on over there.  They have any and everything there from handmade to thrifted.  It’s a creative paradise much like an online Craft Fair.  I don’t have the time or patience to be DIYing anything so it’s definitely been a great place for me!  I also don’t like cookie cutter things and you really won’t find much of it there.  

First, I got Tresvant’s ring there.  You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find a plain, unadorned wedding band for a guy that’s not yellow gold or with beveled edges or celtic crosses or diamonds or whatever extra stuff my boo is just not interested in.  After we I got tired of searching high and low in brick-and-mortars, I finally just hipped him to Etsy and let him search til his heart desired.  In five minutes flat he found it.  Of course, I had to be sure he was sure so I stretched it to thirty…LOL.  Anyway, the ring came in like a week later, made by the lovely studiometalsmith who believes in simplicity and quality.  I even got it stamped with a message on the inside and the ring came in less than a week!  Peep its perfect plain-ness!  LOL.  Anyone else love Etsy?

Mr. Postman

2 Aug

I’ve been stalking to mail man for like a week and FINALLY my invites have arrived!  Yitidee!!!!  Here’s a lil peak…I want Tresvant to see them at least first…lol.  I ordered these from Zazzle when they recently had a 30% off sale.  Tresvant made the decisions here mainly because I couldn’t decide and he’s the graphic designer, not me.  LOL!    Be sure to always check their sale page for discounts.

After seeing TIH’s response card, I just ordered some new ones to deal with those special guests who think your wedding is a chance to invite their own guests as well…NOT!  Also, although we put “sorry, kids” on the website we did not put it on the official invite, so I added that to the card as well.  I find this slightly tacky but sometimes all formality must fly out of the window and this is most definitely one of those times :0). 

You will see me blogging more because dude…I’m getting married in like 60 days!  Yikes!  I have so much to do.  So far I have a venue, caterer, outfits for me and my boo so we will at least be able to look good and eat.  What else matters?  HA!

Time Out.

19 Jul

Maybe it’s just me but wedding planning isn’t always that fun.  Sometimes you have to just schedule in relaxation lest you drive you and your betrothed crazy.  We’ve spent the last two weekends just *NOT* thinking about weddings for the most part and just enjoying ourselves and getting back to US.   I didn’t realize how crazy this could get and how Wedding-Minded we could become.  It’s all everyone asks us about and started to become all that we talked about but no, man…we can’t go out like this.  When I went to drive twenty minutes to two other post offices because they had UGLY stamps that I didn’t want to grace my Save The Dates, I knew that I needed a time out.  I refuse to go Wedding Crazy!

The Garden and The List

9 Jun


When we initially began planning our wedding, Mr. Tresvant* and I happened upon a small and beautiful community garden.  We sat there and soaked it in, took pictures and video clips, and envisioned our intimate garden wedding full of butterflies, chirping birds, trellises and gazebos, sunshine, and oh…say fifty of our closest family and friends.  Even the name of the garden was inspiring- the Garden of Hope was *the* spot for us!  Shortly after that we began composing our lists of special guests and we *EACH* had over fifty and counting.  Goodbye small wedding, hello big family affair!   I don’t even know what we were thinking because only one orbit out of our immediate families was definitely over fifty.  If you are in Brooklyn though, our dreamy-haze wedding can be yours.  The site fee is only $45.  Think about it.  If you do it, please send me a picture to drool over.  

Don’t fret for us though because we will have our garden wedding and 100 (and counting?) of our closest friends and family to celebrate with us.   The only problem is that my list alone has over 100 people on it.  This has got to be one of the hardest parts of planning a wedding.  Every day I look at this list and beat myself up thinking about who can come, who I should invite, who would be upset with me, who should get to bring a date, and it’s driving me crazy! 

Let me also add that my very excited sister is throwing me a bridal shower and needs to send out invites soon but I cannot give her names yet.  If you’re invited to the shower, you have to be invited to the wedding and right now, I can’t even say who is invited.  Oh gosh, this post is taking a tone that I don’t want it to take but this really is something that’s weighing heavily on my mind right now and this blog is my dumping ground. 

This isn’t the greatest first post…lol…I could definitely use some advice though.  How did you tackle your list?

*That’s my boo’s new blog name…ya like it?  We can stand the rain, he’s got sensitivity, he’s a stone cold gentleman with rizz wa faire, we’re lost in love planning our once in a lifetime groove and it’s going down!  FYI, I’m mad corny…get used to this if you plan on sticking around.


8 Jun


Yes, blushing…still, even. 
I’m 35 and very proud of it. 
I had a very active and fun (and hilarious) dating life. 
I wasn’t crying in my Lean Cuisine For One (okay, well not most of the time) and knitting toe socks waiting for a date. 
Every single step that I’ve taken has prepared me for and made me appreciative of finding the Love Of My Life. 
Join me as we plan and I vent about the steps taken to plan the Family-Blow-Out-Celebration-Of-Love of our dreams.