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Day 45: Tacky As Hell

18 Aug

So, we all have people who we know don’t care about Emily Post, have never heard of Emily Post, or will pretend a mixture of both.  I mean wedding etiquette is a soft, nuanced concept anyway but at this point in American history it is definited a fluid and oft-ignored one.  So, I had two RSVP cards.  One was the lovely standard where you could write in your and your INVITED guests name on the response card and all was well.  I know that many friends and family would not resist the temptation to also write in a few UNINVITED guests of their own so this second RSVP card was very necessary.  This invite also specifically states that this is an adult-only reception in case someone wanted to feign that they hadn’t heard the news.  Personally, I considered this RSVP card truly tacky but very necessary.  Apparently more necessary than I thought because I already received my first RSVP (YAY!) back and of course it was the “nice” version and someone saw fit to write in an additional guest.  Oh the fun phone call I’m going to have to make later.  Anyway, Day 45’s lesson?  Sometimes you just have to be a bit tacky to get your point across.

Sorry, Kid

26 Jul

A few weeks ago, a wedding blog that I enjoy (look on the side for the (Formerly) Unemployed Bride) had a flurry of commentary on the very controversial topic of kids at weddings just as I was trying to make that decision for myself.  My comments from that blog and another blog inspired by that discussion are as follows:

“im so going through this right now. if i let all of the children of invited guests come i will have 39 kids, 13 teens, and 6 babies at my wedding. i thought of hiring someone i know who is a child care professional and maybe a colleague or two of hers to watch the kids in a separate yet adjoined area with some activities. the thought of even planning that out is way too much for me right now though. anyway, what *YOU* want is what goes…period.”

“i definitely understand that black children need to see more weddings in our community but planning a wedding is no picnic and trying to find things to entertain another group of people may just not be the bride and groom’s cup of tea. i love children and all of the children in my life are very important to me as is family and community but the thought of planning baby sitters and activities for 39 kids, 13 teens, and 6 babies is more than i can bear at the moment. i keep waffling but right now…unless they are in the wedding…you’re gonna have to stay home- and there are abt 8 kids in the wedding ((yes im crazy)).”

“i also think that most times weddings are not fair to kids. they cant touch anything, they have to sit still and be quiet, they cant play…there are really just too many cants going on. so unless i can provide some entertainment for them, i’m doing us all a favor and having them stay home and play the video games they’d rather play in the first place.”

I understand both sides of the argument and I never thought I’d have to make this decision but I’m not gonna be able to do it!  I contemplated having a special area for kid activities with official Fun Specialists on hand with a kid-friendly menu but when I started breaking it down my pockets and my mind got tired and I just had to scrap it.  I love kids, I’m the fun and crazy auntie/godmommy/cousin who plans kid road trips and vacations every summer, I baby/kid sit often, hell- my wedding is going to have like eight kids in it!  All that extra stuff though, no.  I can’t.  I still love you, pumpkin pookies though. 

Now that I’ve made the decision, the fun part comes.  I have to let everyone else know.  I just did my invites and reaaaaaaaaaaaally could not figure out the best way to do this.  I know I can’t put it on the actual invite, so we now have a wedding website to convey that message along with hotel info, directions, etc so it doesn’t look lonely….lol.  I’ve learned that a friend recently received an invite with NO KIDS on it and I wish, but I’m not that bold but I am firm in my decision.  And today, as I look at my to do list…I’ll say I’m happy with that decision.  I think…ugh.

The Table Dance

16 Jun

Yup, I’m still thinking about The List.  A friend mentioned free-for-all seating but I know my family and I know one thing- they need assigned seats.  I also want to make sure the dancers congregate with other dancers, that like people mix, that each of our families have a chance to mingle and don’t all congregate to opposite sides of the room.  As a shy person, assigned seats make me very, very happy.  Non-assigned seats give me nightmare flashbacks of scanning the cafeteria looking for my peoples or conference luncheons looking for any friendly face and seats without scarves and purses already in them…NO THANKS. 

I’m in love with the chalk board seating chart, this window pane is insanely beautiful, and the bright-bordered charts here are lovely….buuuuuuut I’m short on patience and time and I don’t feel like worrying about my scraggly handwriting or spending hours and mad dollars printing and designing something of my own. 

Anyway, all that to say…LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND.  For only $34 even!  A large printed poster assigned seating chart. All I have to do is type.  HOLLA!  Has anyone used Zazzle before?  Let me know.  I’m hyped.  They have other selections and colors too.  See anything you like?

I collected these above images before I had the sense enough to write down where I found them…if these are yours (or you recognize them), PLEASE LET ME KNOW and I will gladly credit them or remove them.

The Garden and The List

9 Jun

 

When we initially began planning our wedding, Mr. Tresvant* and I happened upon a small and beautiful community garden.  We sat there and soaked it in, took pictures and video clips, and envisioned our intimate garden wedding full of butterflies, chirping birds, trellises and gazebos, sunshine, and oh…say fifty of our closest family and friends.  Even the name of the garden was inspiring- the Garden of Hope was *the* spot for us!  Shortly after that we began composing our lists of special guests and we *EACH* had over fifty and counting.  Goodbye small wedding, hello big family affair!   I don’t even know what we were thinking because only one orbit out of our immediate families was definitely over fifty.  If you are in Brooklyn though, our dreamy-haze wedding can be yours.  The site fee is only $45.  Think about it.  If you do it, please send me a picture to drool over.  

Don’t fret for us though because we will have our garden wedding and 100 (and counting?) of our closest friends and family to celebrate with us.   The only problem is that my list alone has over 100 people on it.  This has got to be one of the hardest parts of planning a wedding.  Every day I look at this list and beat myself up thinking about who can come, who I should invite, who would be upset with me, who should get to bring a date, and it’s driving me crazy! 

Let me also add that my very excited sister is throwing me a bridal shower and needs to send out invites soon but I cannot give her names yet.  If you’re invited to the shower, you have to be invited to the wedding and right now, I can’t even say who is invited.  Oh gosh, this post is taking a tone that I don’t want it to take but this really is something that’s weighing heavily on my mind right now and this blog is my dumping ground. 

This isn’t the greatest first post…lol…I could definitely use some advice though.  How did you tackle your list?

*That’s my boo’s new blog name…ya like it?  We can stand the rain, he’s got sensitivity, he’s a stone cold gentleman with rizz wa faire, we’re lost in love planning our once in a lifetime groove and it’s going down!  FYI, I’m mad corny…get used to this if you plan on sticking around.