Day 40: Break Break Down

23 Aug

Uhm, I’m about to have a breakdown.  I’m teetering on the edge of tears as I type this ((I cried, man…I’m so aggravated)).  Since I’m at work this is just not possible so typing here will hopefully help me.  Y’all saw the tacky invitations.  Apparently I know more tacky people than I thought.  Please tell me why I keep getting RSVPs with people talking about UNINVITED dates and plus ones.  I can’t take this and I’m starting to get really frustrated.  Can people read?  Have people never attended an event before?  Is everyone just fucking insane and unware of COURTESY AND ETIQUETTE and MY ALREADY BIGGER THAN I WANTED WEDDING???????????????????????  I’m going to take a time out and go for a walk.  Breathe in, breathe out.

***I just came back from my little crying walk and as I was walking someone  calls me livid that his/her toddler can’t come to the wedding.  S/he threatened not to come now.  Really, people?   Is anyone dealing with this?  I’m am so sick of this crap.

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10 Responses to “Day 40: Break Break Down”

  1. may August 23, 2010 at 1:53 pm #

    Can you email people something like this:
    “Hi! Thanks so much for RSVP’ing. This is a little awkward, but I need to talk to you about something. We have limited space available and will not be able to accommodate x,y,z. This is a special day and unfortunately, there are extreme space limitations at the venue. We are so excited to see you at the wedding– time is flying! Let me know if you have any questions about the invite and I’ll try to get back to you right away. It’s pretty busy around here, as you can imagine! 🙂 See you soon!”

    I googled how to handle this LOL. I am sure it sucks, but stick to your guns. Better to be uncomfortable now than day of, seriously. Let us know how it goes!

    And, BREATHE!

    • still blushing bride August 31, 2010 at 9:07 pm #

      Hey miss! Thank you. I used some of your wording in phone calls and emails so this was really helpful!

  2. Crystal August 23, 2010 at 3:46 pm #

    I got married a little over 2.5 years ago, and there are people that are still peeved that they didn’t get invited. But this is not about me…

    Truthfully, all that matters is that you and Tresvant love each other and are uniting as one. You never really know just how crazy people will get (or how much they will unexpectedly step up to the plate for you) until you have a wedding. Folks will literally treat it like a party or social event, and not consider how it all impacts your bottom line, or how much stress it causes you when they take liberties with RSVPing.

    I agree with May’s approach or a variation of it. Once you talk with a few, word tends to spread and people get the message. For the rest who are adamant, you just have to be polite, but firm. It may help if you have a go-between (maybe your mother or fiance) who can handle that on your behalf.

    I am wishing you an absolutely awesome day, today and every day, but especially on your wedding day. (and yeah, BREATHE! :))

    • still blushing bride August 31, 2010 at 9:09 pm #

      Hi Crystal! I’m glad to know that there are others who have gone through this. I had no idea that people would act like this and you’re right, people ARE treating this like a social event and a party and I just don’t even get it. I hope the message is spreading! THANK YOU!!!

  3. Tiffany In Houston August 23, 2010 at 6:58 pm #

    I had to deal with this with a soror who invited her self along with a soror that I had invited. I told soror A what the deal was and why I declined to invite soror B. Soror A took it upon herself to fix the situation.
    Commenter May’s response is perfect. Short, sweet and too the point. If they start acting nutty, Repeat it and be firm.

    As for your cousin (and anyone else), this is what you need to say as a mantra:

    I am sorry to hear you won’t be able to make it. You will be missed and we will visit with you after the wedding.

    Everytime the objection is made, repeat it. Be calm. Don’t be apologetic. Don’t respond to the threats to not come.

    If your cousin wanted to go and shake her ass, she’d find a babysitter. Don’t fall for it.

    You are definitely going to need a door bouncer.

    • still blushing bride August 31, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

      Hey TIH,

      Heh Heh…I definitely used your bolded mantra and it made what could have been a long convo much shorter :0) THANK YOU!

  4. Nichole August 23, 2010 at 10:26 pm #

    You cannot satisfy everyone. You have to look at what will make you and your future husband happy. People want you to be considerate of them but don’t want to be considerate of you.

    I think what miss may posted is a great idea because quite honestly, I would’ve glanced over the RSVP card too. People tend to just look at accept/decline so yeah. People don’t read. Sorry it’s so frustrating for you right now but it will be beautiful.

    • still blushing bride August 31, 2010 at 9:10 pm #

      Yes, the consideration is definitely missing. Thank you and I’m looking forward to some beauty!

  5. Aisha August 31, 2010 at 3:35 pm #

    Breathe! I asked a friend if I could bring someone to her wedding. She thought I meant my boyfriend so she said yes. When she saw that it wasn’t she politely emailed me. So that’s what you should do.

    Some people don’t understand/forget/don’t care about the planning that goes into something like this. They forget that you already feel terrible that you had leave some people you would invite out. Then they want to add people to your list for you. It’s not fair but don’t hold it against them forever.

    I agree with Mae’s approach. All you can do is politley say no and that’s it. You can only do so much. In general people don’t take weddings as serious as they should.

    • still blushing bride August 31, 2010 at 9:12 pm #

      I definitely had to leave pple out who I would have loved there!!! Like yall :0( So maybe that’s why I’m getting so upset at Random Hoe #12 and Uninvited Loud Lil Wild Child and the subsequent guilt trips being thrown all up in my face.

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